godly affection
General,  God's purpose

The Power of Touch

the power of touch

by Annie Yorty ©2022

Do you ever find your supply of love running low? As you go through the day, activities, people, and emotions siphon love from your tank as surely as driving your car pushes the gas needle down to the dreaded “E.” Let’s consider the power of touch to refill your supply of love.

“Come here, you! You need your love tank filled.” These words from my daughter, Alyssa, never fail to bring a smile. That’s because a prolonged, warm hug always follows. I began the practice of “filling the love tank” of my children long ago when they were small.

As a child I was never hugged. I was never told, “I love you.” Because of this, I squirmed whenever someone gave me a friendly hug. Perhaps I’m not the only one who has experienced this discomfort.

But when I became a mom, I resolved to do things differently with my kids.

Godly physical touch, accompanied by matching words and action all communicate love. Of course, I am not condoning any inappropriate touch. But I am advocating for intentional affection to release the power of touch. It’s one component of love that Jesus demonstrated by coming to earth and touching the lives of people He loved. Hint: that’s all of us!

Jesus’ Example of the Power of Touch

In the larger sense, Emmanuel, God with us in the form of Jesus, is heaven touching earth. God could have dealt with our needs from afar, but He chose to send Jesus to personally touch our lives with His. Many people in Jesus’ time longed for the power of His touch. In response, His compassion led Him to physically touch and heal. Though Jesus’ power was able to restore without touching, His touch usually accompanied healing.

In the Bible, we also see Jesus’ loving care for His disciples demonstrated through physical touch. During a tense, frightening event, His touch reassured them.

The disciples were terrified and fell face down on the ground. Then Jesus came over and touched them. “Get up,” he said. “Don’t be afraid” (Matthew 17:6-7 NLT).

Who knew church people were so ‘huggy’?

When I first started attending church as an adult, I endured many friendly hugs. I suffered through the quick pat-pat on the back and stepped away as soon as possible. But in my heart, I recognized my unhealthy response to affection needed help and healing.

A Learning Process

Starting with my children, I intentionally practiced “filling their love tank.” Every morning I reminded myself to wrap my arms around them and smother them with smooches and words of love. Throughout the homeschooling day, when I felt frustrated—which I confess was often—I tried to pause before hasty words flew.

Arms outstretched, I’d beckon, “I think I’m running low on love. Come fill my love tank.” Amidst sweet hugs, the sun came out and the birds sang again.

I thank God for the opportunity to learn the basics of physical touch through mothering my children. Over the years, though, He’s given me lots of opportunities for higher education. In one such classroom, God used poor lost souls living in an elder institution in Siberia to drive home the desperate human need for physical connection.

The Story of Ivan

the power of touch

Ivan’s vacant eyes stared out of a shrunken face that resembled the dried apples I brought to share with him. Alcohol and many harsh Siberian winters had carved deep grooves into his leathery skin. He reclined on a thin mattress supported by a rickety, metal bed frame, one leg dangling a bit over the edge and the other a long-ago victim of frostbite. I risked adding my weight to the flimsy bed and sat next to him.

Without my interpreter, I had only a few Russian words to say, so I simply took his hands in mine. Rough scratchy, skin grazed my palms. I looked down. Compassion welled in my heart at the sight of Ivan’s blistered hands. I reached into my bag for my ever-present lotion and held it out. Ivan nodded, so I squeezed out dollop and gently massaged it into his gnarly skin.

My simple gesture gave only momentary comfort to Ivan’s physical condition. But his eyes revealed my touch had restored his dignity. Touch reminded Ivan he was human.

Who Needs the Power of Touch?

You don’t need to be a frazzled homeschool mom or a missionary in Siberia to be used by God.

Who needs the power of your touch today? We know our families need to feel our love, but in the busyness of life we often neglect to pause. To touch. And what about the single mom sitting near you in church who needs a hug of encouragement? And let’s not forget about the aged, languishing alone, bereft of touch for the last two years during Covid.

Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other (Romans 12:10 NLT).

God’s Spirit in us fills our love tank every day. Will you allow the power of touch to overflow into others today?

Join the conversation:

Have you seen the power of touch demonstrated in your life?

Whose love tank can you replenish with God’s love today?

I welcome your comments!

24 Comments

  • Edwina E Cowgill

    Annie, What a wonderful blog! You are so right-we all need the human touch. May we show God’s love through our hugs, love, and ministry to others.

    Blessings,
    Edwina

  • Toby

    Ann, I love everything you wrote so very much. The power of touch is my all-time favorite thing to do especially with my children and grandchildren. And I believe I’ve influenced many of them to be good huggers.
    Hugs are wonderful. Once when I was yearning deeply for a physical touch from Jesus, He spoke to my heart and told me that whenever a child hugged me it’s like I’m getting a hug from Him.

    I miss you man and wish I could hug you today. So for now I’m hugging you in my heart from afar.

    • Annie Yorty

      Thank you, Toby. You are one of those people who taught me to hug. I appreciate your heart of love and how you communicate it. Your inspiration from God just reinforces to me that He wants us to be His hands and feet. My hugs are coming back at you across the miles right now. I long to be with you again one of these days, Lord willing.

  • Katherine Pasour

    Like you, Annie, I grew up in a home where my parents did not openly share affection. As you did, I vowed that, as a parent, I would be different. Lots of hugs! It is important that we show our love and concern for others in many ways. Your kindness to Ivan is a wonderful example of gestures that we can do. If we’re not into physical hugs (especially during this fear of spreading disease), there are still many loving acts we can do for others: send a card, make a call, run an errand for someone, bake something, etc. But I will be very glad when we feel comfortable hugging again. Thank you for an inspiring message.

  • Teresa

    Ann, this is beautiful. The story of Ivan brought me to tears. What a dear precious soul; he must have felt so unlovable until you made him feel loved by your tender touch.

    It reminded me of a time when my dear 90 + yr old Dad was living with us. He was complaining about his feet being dry and sore.
    The thought came to my mind, “Oh Lord, surely you do not want me to…? Lord I don’t “do” feet, they’re gross”.

    However, he said he would really appreciate a foot rub. So, I filled a small plastic tub with warm water, placed it on the floor and after soaking his feet, proceeded to dry and then lotion them. I cannot explain what happened in my heart at that moment, but as tears flowed, unseen by my sweet Daddy, I felt it to be a most holy moment.

    My dad was not a “huggy” Dad when I was growing up, so that rare moment of touch brought our relationship to a new level of love.

    Thanks for your beautiful story Ann.
    Love you my friend,
    Teresa

    • Annie Yorty

      Aww, Teresa, now you brought me to tears. That kind of humble service is truly the heart of God. Your story reminds me of Jesus washing the feet of the disciples. Thank you for sharing. I love you too!

  • Jeannie Waters

    Annie, your words touched my heart in several ways. You’ve shown us how to follow the example of Jesus by loving people in the ways they need to be loved. Thank you for sharing your story and Ivan’s.

    • Annie Yorty

      Nancy, it is sad to me that so many have been deprived of human touch for so long through this pandemic. And we’ve taught a generation of children to fear even being close to other human beings, much less touching them. It seems like a disastrous social experiment. But our hope is in God!

  • Candyce Carden

    I wasn’t hugged much growing up either. After I married, hugging my husband and children was never a problem but I still struggle when others offer a hug. Your article motivates me to work harder to overcome this.

    • Annie Yorty

      Candyce, I know it didn’t happen overnight for me, but it’s been worth it to persevere. Consider yourself hugged by me! 😊

  • Sylvia

    Thanks for the reminder of the importance of touch. It is something perhaps many of our tanks are a bit low on after the pandemic. The example of Jesus’ touch was beautiful.

    • Annie Yorty

      Thank you, Sylvia, for your encouragement. I know it’s probably more complex, but I wonder about the correlation between the lack of civility in our society and the social distancing that we have promoted.

  • Jennifer

    Several years ago I heard about a study on hugs. It concluded that three hugs a day were needed. People who received three hugs a day were happier and healthier.

  • Barbara Latta

    Jesus touched the untouchable, the lepers and other diseased people that no one else would touch. I’m sure that one gesture brought love to their hearts and preceded their faith to be healed. Thanks for sharing the story of Ivan. One small act of kindness gave a wealth of love and acceptance to a hurting soul.

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