Overcome Loneliness this Holiday Season
by Annie Yorty
The season of Thanksgiving and Christmas, deemed “the most wonderful time of the year,” often doesn’t feel that way. It rarely measures up to the hype of our expectations. If the upcoming season looms like a black hole rather than a beacon of joy because of loneliness, you’re not alone. Fortunately, we have strategies to overcome loneliness this holiday season.
Reasons for Loneliness
My friend, Emily, recently moved to another country to share the gospel and will spend her first Christmas away from home. Sandy, who’s at the opposite end of life’s timeline, recently lost her husband and dreads the prospect of Thanksgiving and Christmas without him. Due to failing health, Francis can’t get out much. She’s afraid she’s been forgotten. Sarah, who’s single, never feels more alone than when she’s with her crowd. Some of my own loneliest holidays came after we moved to a new state.
We are all so much together, but we are all dying of loneliness.
-Albert Schweitzer
A quick calculation from the calendar tells me Thanksgiving is twenty days away. Christmas—just forty-five!
What thoughts come to mind as you look ahead? Maybe you’ve already extended invitations to your family and filled your social calendar with fun activities.
On the other hand, are you making—and checking twice—your binge list of holiday Hallmarks to get you through to the end of the year?
Whatever may cause our feelings of isolation, we can employ the following strategies to overcome loneliness this holiday season.
Develop a proactive plan to overcome loneliness this holiday season. #perceiveGod #annieyorty Click To Tweet7 Ways to Overcome Loneliness
If you develop a strong preemptive plan to overcome loneliness, you stand a better chance of connecting with others in a meaningful way. Consider these seven ideas and choose ones you might use to stave off loneliness.
1. Spend regular time with God.
Through Jesus, we have friendship with God (John 15:15). Nurture that relationship by coming close to Him every day through Bible study and prayer. Even in the most intense human loneliness, we can experience complete satisfaction in God’s presence.
For I [God] have satiated the weary soul, and I have replenished every sorrowful soul. (Jeremiah 31:25 WEB)
2. Make a plan to serve people in need.
Often loneliness begets more loneliness because our feelings lead us to focus on ourselves. We can combat this tendency by serving during the holidays.
Opportunities for service abound. One of my favorites, Samaritan’s Purse Operation Christmas Child, is recruiting volunteers to help at their regional centers. Locally, you can participate in a packing party at a church. Speaking of church, yours probably could use some extra help between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Offer to be an greeter and perhaps make a friend along the way. Other easy service options include visiting a nursing home to hand out Christmas cards and hope, joining a group collecting presents for needy children, or volunteering at a food pantry. Why not create a personalized outreach plan for the next eight weeks to focus on the Lord and others?
3. Offer hospitality in your home.
Two obvious opportunities for hospitality include Thanksgiving and Christmas. Ask around to find out who will be alone on these days and invite them to come and bring a dish to share. You could also consider meeting a couple people for coffee once a week through December to discuss an Advent devotional. Or ask a few friends or teens to come to your house to bake cookies together. You don’t need to stress over perfection. Simply provide the basics and enjoy yourself.
4. Meet your neighbors.
If you don’t already know your neighbors, the holidays present a perfect excuse to introduce yourself. Make a treat to share—something like cookies, apple dumplings, bread, or candy. Include a card with a brief encouraging note. You could write a Bible verse for the season or simply say, “I’m so glad God made us neighbors!”
Then take a deep breath, knock on the neighbors’ doors, and offer the goodies with a smile. God may use your gesture to open their hearts to Him, and perhaps to you as well.
5. Visit someone who is housebound.
No matter how lonely we feel, we probably know someone who is even lonelier. Try to find one person, perhaps someone who can’t get out because of health issues, and brighten their day by spending time together. If you can’t think of anyone, call your church office to find out if there’s someone who might welcome a visit. Bring a poem to read, a small craft to make, or a devotion to share.
6. Encourage people with handwritten notes.
In our fast-paced world in which people have lost the art of letter writing, a personalized note holds extra meaning. Share a personal story or Bible encouragement to connect your heart and life with the one who receives it.
7. Meet someone new or reconnect with a long-lost friend.
Does reaching out to someone you don’t know strike fear in you? Ask God to help you overcome your anxiety and direct you to someone with a receptive heart. Perhaps you’ll ask a coworker to go to a Christmas program or invite the person who always sits behind you at church to join you for lunch one Sunday. Or maybe there’s a friend from your past God has placed on your heart to call. God may use your risk to begin or renew a relationship that will enrich your life.
Holidays with Eternal Significance
If you worry loneliness might surround this upcoming holiday season, allow God to redeem it by creating a proactive plan. As you pray and step out in faith to ward off loneliness, God’s light will shine through you to others.
Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 5:16 WEB)
At the same time, God’s presence and companionship will surely light your own heart. And along the way, He may fill your life with the fellowship of a new relationship.
Join the conversation:
How have you overcome loneliness in your own life?
I welcome your comments!
Copyright ©2023 Annie Yorty
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20 Comments
J.D. Wininger
Will always remember that first holiday season after my divorce. God used that time to redeem me, but I vowed never again to let others be alone when there was something I could do about it. Am grateful God has always provided me with someone or some way to help.
Annie Yorty
J.D., when you approach God and people with an open heart, your life is so much richer and much less lonely. God is good, isn’t He? Thank you for sharing your experience.
Barbara Latta
These are wonderful strategies, Annie, for helping those who suffer from loneliness to be able to emerge from this dark hole. We can all fall into these depressing feelings at time. The remedy is to turn to Jesus and put our focus on others.
Annie Yorty
Thanks very much, Barbara. No doubt we all experience loneliness, but our Father is faithful to overcome our feelings with His love.
Jeannie Waters
Your suggestions are both wise and practical, Annie. I added a couple of them to a talk I’m giving this week. The love of Christ shines through your ideas. Thanks so much for this valuable post.
Annie Yorty
You flatter me, Jeannie. Thank you for your encouragement. I’m grateful to be used by God alongside you in His grand tapestry of mercy and grace toward this world.
Maggie Rowe
Thank you for your heart for those who are lonely, Annie – far more than many of us realize. Our children all live 10-18 hours away (by car) and we won’t be with them for Thanksgiving. I’m thankful a young couple has invited us to join their extended family for dinner that day. We often hosted individuals or small families around our Thanksgiving table during our 40+ years in pastoral ministry.
Annie Yorty
I would certainly enjoy spending Thanksgiving with you and your husband, Maggie, so I know you’ll bless this young couple as much as they are blessing you. I imagine you have had many opportunities to bring many into God’s circle of belonging over the years. May God bless and keep your heart full of gratitude this Thanksgiving.
Debbie Wilson
Annie, this is such good advice. Holidays can magnify our feelings of loss and loneliness. I think God arranged the Christmas story to show He understands. There was no room at the inn for Mary and Joseph.
Annie Yorty
Thanks, Debbie. You make an excellent point. God doesn’t waste a single detail from His Word, does He?
Yvonne Morgan
Wonderful message Annie especially with how the holidays affect so many who feel lonely. Now, we the kids all grown and out of the house, Christmas can feel lonely for me so I will put your examples into practice.
Annie Yorty
After so many years of bustling around with kids’ activities, it must seem very quiet when they’re not able to be there for Christmas. I’m thankful these ideas blessed you, Yvonne. Thank you for visiting!
Candyce Carden
Annie,
It makes me sad to think about people being lonely at Christmas. I have such a big family to gather with nearby. Your post raises my awareness and puts me on alert for those who might be in need of some hospitality.
Thank you.
Annie Yorty
When we invite a lonely person into that familial circle, it can be a powerful thing. I trust God will continue to use your heart for Him to reach out to others. Thanks for visiting!
Katy Kauffman
The pandemic brought a delightful tool like we had never used before–Zoom. I can Zoom with out-of-town family and friends, and that helps! Great ideas, Annie. Perfect timing to give them.
Annie Yorty
I so agree, Katy! I have so many people to Zoom with on holidays, I wish I had more hours in the day. Thanks for visiting, Katy!
Katherine Pasour
Loneliness is an unwanted companion for so many. Thank you for this inspiring and helpful message to show us how to help. Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving, Annie and family.
Annie Yorty
Don’t you love how God opens the door for us to share the good news of Jesus through loneliness? I pray we all step into our calling to be the hands and feet of Jesus this holiday season. Happy Thanksgiving to you too, Katherine!
Heidi
Annie, this is a great post for helping people who struggle during the holidays. I love your list! It sure fits with the two most important commandments to love God and to love our neighbors as ourselves. I hope you have a wonderful holiday time for Thanksgiving and Christmas!💕
Annie Yorty
Heidi, thank you for stopping by and adding to your insight to this conversation. The love of Christ compels us to reach out. Blessings to you too!