How to Respond to Loneliness

by Annie Yorty ©2022

Betrayal, false accusations, and loneliness—every human must bear these unavoidable, heartbreaking burdens. Jesus, living in a fully human condition, was no exception. But Jesus is also fully God. That’s why, in the final blog of my Easter series, we will explore how to respond to loneliness by studying Jesus’ perfect example.

Stripped, whipped, kicked. Spit on, beat on, piled on. Mocked, accused, scorned. Finally nailed to a Roman cross, the most humiliating and torturous manner of death imaginable. When we remember these last days of Jesus, we usually focus on the physical suffering He endured.

But I wonder if Jesus, weeping and sweating drops of blood in Gethsemane, dreaded something even more than bodily pain.

Loneliness. Isolation. Forsakenness.

In the Beginning

Up to the point of His lowly birth under the blazing star in Bethlehem, Jesus had experienced only the sweetness of perfect fellowship. God the Father, Son, and Spirit existed before the foundation of the earth as three distinct persons, yet one perfectly unified God. Such a mystery exceeds our human comprehension, but we can try to imagine the pure satisfaction and joy of such a relationship.

While living for thirty-three years as a human, Jesus continued to access His Father by abiding in Him. Everything Jesus said and did came from constant communication with God the Father (John 5:19).

Jesus’ Cup of Loneliness

My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine (Matthew 26:39 NLT).

What is this cup Jesus spoke of? Certainly, the cup contained the awful physical trial that lay ahead. But I believe the prospect of isolation daunted Jesus even more. He was about to endure deprivation of both human and divine fellowship as every foul thought, word, and deed of every human being in all of history engulfed His perfection.

Jesus willingly descended to the depths of absolute loneliness where His holy Father could not go.

Have you, too, experienced the pain of loneliness? As you respond to loneliness, I encourage you to apply these lessons learned from Jesus.

4 Ways to Respond to Loneliness

1. Rely on God’s constant presence.

He walked away, about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed (Luke 22:41 NLT).

Jesus regularly withdrew from the crowds that followed Him to be alone with His Father. Now, as He faced His final hours before crucifixion, He once again knelt in determined submission to God. Jesus sought the strength to remain faithful in the face of upcoming separation from His Father.

Because of Christ’s sacrifice, we never need to experience separation from God as Jesus did. Thank Him for this wonderful news! But we will undergo times when friendships run dry. When we feel abandoned. When we feel no one understands. If we intentionally remain close to God’s side, fortifying ourselves with His presence, the desperation of loneliness will transform into hope.

2. Seek human connection.

He took Peter and Zebedee’s two sons, James and John, and he became anguished and distressed. He told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me” (Matthew 26:37-38).

God designed humans for relationship with Himself as well as other people. Jesus, being both God and Man, craved the company of his friends in His time of need. He asked them to support Him even though He already knew they would abandon Him.

We, too, should develop fellowship with humans. Even though it’s messy. Even though at times it fails. The world’s recent stint with Covid-19 quarantine measures has proven we don’t do well in isolation.

Are you seeking fellowship or fulfillment in your human relationships?

Human fellowship is a risky proposition unless we rightly understand our fulfillment must always come from God rather than friends or family. Yet, when we trust God in human relationships, we will find that He often uses people to minister to us in our loneliness. And where they are weak, when they are imperfect, God steps in to fill the gaps.

3. Face loneliness with courage instead of compromise.

No one can take my life from me. I sacrifice it voluntarily. For I have the authority to lay it down when I want to and also to take it up again. For this is what my Father has commanded (John 10:18 NLT).

Jesus never skirted His duties to make Himself more comfortable. His choices, freely made, often put Him on a lonely path, ultimately leading to death and complete isolation at Calvary. Jesus bravely tolerated the imminent rejection of mankind and separation from God for the future joy of sin defeated (Hebrews 12:2).

Often, we try to circumvent loneliness by compromising biblical values. A woman reaches a certain age without marriage and decides to move in, unmarried, with a man. A man wants to be accepted at work, so he participates in coarse language and humor. When we fix our eyes on God’s word and His promises, though, we can continue to please Him through the inevitable lonely times.

4. Restore those who fail you.

A third time he asked him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time. He said, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Then feed my sheep” (John 21:17 NLT).

Jesus’ disciple, Peter, wept bitterly after he denied and abandoned Jesus during His brutal interrogation by the authorities. Yet Peter was one of the first people Jesus appeared to after His resurrection. Peter expected the condemnation he deserved from Jesus. But in John’s gospel, we witness Jesus restoring a right and purpose-filled relationship between Himself and Peter.

We all, like Peter, have denied Jesus. We abandoned Him. Our sins caused His death, His separation from His Father, and His loneliness. But we have hope.

For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God (Romans 5:10-11 NLT).

I can scarcely believe the wonderful truth Paul wrote in Romans! Jesus restored us, like Peter, from death to life, from pointless to purposeful, and from condemned to consequential. Not only that, but Jesus also transformed us from enemy to friend. How do we wrap our minds around friendship with Almighty God?

When we realize the magnitude of forgiveness and restoration we’ve received from Christ, it compels us to pass it on to those who have exacerbated our loneliness.

God’s Presence

Earlier I mentioned that because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, God never leaves us (Hebrews 13:5). We are never truly alone. But if you have no relationship with God through Jesus, your life will be lonely, even if you’re surrounded by a bevy of friends. Why? Because your unforgiven sin casts you outside your true place of belonging and fulfillment in God’s presence.

Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart (Ecclesiastes 3:11a NLT).

Only friendship with God can fulfill your deepest longings and needs. If you haven’t yet received Christ as your Savior, please turn to Him today.

Respond to Loneliness by Giving it to Jesus

Loneliness is a heavy burden we all bear from time to time. Jesus experienced its agony. “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me” (Matthew 27:46b NLT)? Jesus suffered complete isolation so we could transfer the weight of our loneliness to Him.

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28 NLT).

Never Alone

In Christ, though you may feel lonely, you are never alone. Follow His example to respond to loneliness. And reach out to others, including me, if you need a friend!

Join the conversation:

How has God ministered to you in times of loneliness?

I welcome your comments!