How to Have a Godly Response to Frustration
by Annie Yorty ©2022
If you’ve ever hung up the phone and thought, “There’s three hours of my life I’ll never get back,” this blog is for you. Frustration. Doesn’t the word sound like its meaning—”the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something?” Is it possible to have a godly response to frustration?
Is it possible to have a godly response to frustration? Share on XIf you’ve ever felt frustrated, maybe today you’ll glean some helpful tips about how to have a godly response to people who cause your frustration.
Frustration on the Phone
Today I spent three and one-half hours on the phone . . . and counting. I’m still on hold and still haven’t received an answer to my question. In the interests of not wasting time, I’m now multi-tasking by writing some thoughts on how to have a godly response to frustration before I scream something I shouldn’t at an unsuspecting customer service representative. Just keeping it real today. 😠
As a mom of a special needs child, I’ve wasted more days than I can count navigating bureaucracies. I’m sure you’ve experienced something similar, even if you don’t have special needs in your life. Sooner or later, everyone runs up against government systems, insurance companies, and other mammoth organizations.
Please tell me I’m not the only one who rips out a few hairs trying to advocate for important needs with behemoths that have no real accountability. I don’t know why, but that would make me feel a little better—though perhaps not less frustrated—right now.
Let’s Put Frustrations into Perspective
Sometimes we fly into frustration over miniscule things. Sometimes they’re huge. But these words from the Apostle Paul apply to all frustrations.
For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever (2 Cor 4:17-18 NLT).
Almost every frustrating situation involves people. Can you guess who will often feel the brunt of your frustration? Yes, it would be those people. And you might conclude that they deserve to experience your ire because they caused a problem. But as a Christian representing Jesus, I cannot find a justification in the Bible for venting my frustration on people. Even guilty ones. (I may or may not have actually looked this up.)
So let’s ask God for another way to respond to frustration.
How to have a Godly Response to Frustration
- Remember God loves you. That alone should lower your blood pressure and lift you above your feelings.
For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love (Romans 5:5b NLT).
- God also loves the person you’re talking to. That should help you treat them with dignity.
Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions (1 John 3:18 NLT).
- You catch more flies with honey. Remain calm but firm about your needs.
Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body (Proverbs 16:24 NLT).
- Take deep breaths and pause before speaking.
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry (James 1:19 NLT).
- If you think you know a possible solution, suggest it.
Timely advice is lovely, like golden apples in a silver basket (Proverbs 25:11 NLT).
- When the problem seems beyond a representative’s skill or authority, kindly ask for a supervisor.
Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success (Proverbs 15:22 NLT).
- Pray without ceasing that God would help you to be His faithful ambassador as you try to resolve your problem.
Always be joyful. Never stop praying (1 Thessalonians 5:16-17 NLT).
- Remind yourself that God is in control. He is present and personal in your time of need.
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them (Romans 8:28 NLT).
Our Christian Witness in Frustration
We’ve all heard the adage about the squeaky wheel getting the grease. It’s always tempting to try to produce results by pitching a fit. Sometimes that actually works. But a verse comes to mind that instructs us:
And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul (Mark 8:36 NLT).
I realize I’m using the verse a bit out of context, because this situation isn’t about our eternal state. But we don’t want to solve our earthly problems, no matter how significant, at the expense of our faithful witness for the Lord Jesus.
We don’t want to solve our earthly problems, no matter how significant, at the expense of our faithful witness for the Lord Jesus. Share on XHow It All Turned Out
(And was my Response to Frustration Godly?)
Whelp, I bailed out on this today. After hours on hold, I couldn’t bear to try again, so I found a customer service email address and sent a written message about my problem. (Maybe there’s a Bible verse about when you should stop banging your head against the wall. 😊) And yes, praise God, His Holy Spirit did empower me to have a godly response to frustration today.
If I were in charge, I’d snap my fingers and straighten out the twists and turns of these kinds of frustrations. But God allows them in my life for a reason. I’m pretty sure it has something to do with forming godliness in me.
Thank you for sympathizing with me today. I plan to spend the evening with people I care about and put aside my day’s frustrations. As they say, tomorrow is another day.
But these days are short, and I see the problems are small when I compare them to the eternal glory awaiting those who trust in Christ Jesus.
Join the conversation:
What type of frustration threatens your godly response?
Do you have a favorite verse to help you have a godly response to frustration?
I welcome your comments!
16 Comments
Nancy E. Head
Prayers for you as you try again. You reminded me that my “customer service” call from last week produced no result, so now I am on hold too.
Sigh. Most necessary message for our times.
Annie Yorty
We live in a culture that more and more glorifies venting. Though that is unfortunate, it does present a superb opportunity to showcase God’s alternative way. Praying for you as well, friend.
Katherine Pasour
In today’s world, I cannot imagine anyone who has not had the exerience of acute (and long-term) frustration when trying to solve a problem by phone or email. The stress of being on hold, pushed around from one customer service rep to another, or dealing with rude and ignorant personnel is enough to send us over the edge. Thanks so much for sharing these helpful strategies that apply to so many situations. Praying for you.
Annie Yorty
Thank you, Katherine. I know, in the whole scheme of things, these frustrations aren’t usually that big, but they can seem that way at the moment. And God has used them to grow my patience over the years.
Jeannie Waters
Daily frustrations are trying. I don’t wait well and find myself holding internal tension even if I keep smiling. God often reminds me I need to relinquish control of my internal responses to Him along with my speech and my actions.
Annie Yorty
Jeannie, thanks for visiting and sharing your thoughts. Frustration is usually about unmet expectations and desires to control. But we have a good God who is capable of guiding us well.
Jen
This message has come in a timely manner. Insurance would not pay for Lyme Disease. We tried a medical share program and now they won’t help. Hours have been spent trying to get help. It is so frustrating. These scriptures are perfect. Thank you.
Annie Yorty
Oh, Jen, I feel your pain. I take a specialty medicine for MS, and it’s always something. I pray you’re able to get the treatment you need. We know God is in control.
Erin Casey
2 Peter 1:5–8 is the passage that came to mind as I read your piece. It takes effort to deal with frustration in a godly way, but doing so helps us grow and keeps us from being ineffective or unfruitful for the Kingdom.
Good thoughts, Annie!
Annie Yorty
That’s a great verse, Erin. Thank you! It’s a good warning for me, because I certainly don’t want to become ineffective for God. My moment of venting is not worth that result.
Barbara Latta
I can so identify with your pain. Frustration seems to be a part of life now so much that it is almost normal. Thanks for sharing the scriptures to help us counter this malady of emotions. I would imagine Jesus had to just shake His head at some of the things He encountered that were so rule bound ridiculous. Thankfully, in light of eternity these are “light” things although they don’t feel like it now.
Annie Yorty
Thank you for visiting, Barbara. We need to keep reminding ourselves of the truth about these problems that loom so large right now, don’t we? We have hope!
Leigh DeLozier
Annie, I can relate to this so much! Thanks for being real and for sharing valuable points for us to remember the next time we’re in that same spot. One frustrating thing where we live is dealing with traffic. I try to remind myself that everyone is just trying to get where they need to be and that I never know their situation. I’ll remember your wisdom when I’m in the thick of the interstate on my way to the office tomorrow. 🙂 And I hope that reaching out through email will get you a response!
Annie Yorty
Thank you, Leigh. Yes, traffic is another excellent opportunity for God to show us the true state of our hearts. 😊 Thanks for visiting!
Yvonne Morgan
This is something I struggle with at times so thanks for sharing. It is an important message for Christian to hear and grasp. Thanks for sharing
Annie Yorty
Thank you, Yvonne. I hope it gave something practical to apply.